Those Advice shared by My Dad That Helped Us as a First-Time Father

"In my view I was just in survival mode for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey expected to manage the challenges of becoming a dad.

However the reality soon proved to be "utterly different" to what he pictured.

Life-threatening health complications around the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was thrust into becoming her chief support while also looking after their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, every nappy change… every stroll. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

After eleven months he burnt out. That was when a chat with his father, on a park bench, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The simple phrases "You're not in a healthy space. You require support. In what way can I help you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, ask for help and find a way back.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. Although people is now more comfortable addressing the pressure on moms and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the challenges new fathers encounter.

'It's not weak to seek assistance

Ryan believes his struggles are part of a larger inability to communicate amongst men, who still absorb harmful ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and doesn't fall every time."

"It isn't a display of weakness to ask for help. I was too slow to do that soon enough," he clarifies.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, says men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not the right person to be requesting help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental health is equally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the space to take a break - going on a few days overseas, away from the family home, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he required a change to focus on his and his partner's emotions in addition to the day-to-day duties of looking after a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd missed "what she longed for" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has reshaped how Ryan views fatherhood.

He's now composing Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of emotion and understand his decisions as a father.

The concept of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen was without reliable male parenting. Even with having an "amazing" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says bottling up feelings led him to make "terrible decisions" when he was younger to alter how he felt, finding solace in alcohol and substances as escapism from the hurt.

"You turn to things that aren't helpful," he says. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - when you are under pressure, tell a friend, your other half or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the activities that made you feel like the person you were before becoming a parent. This might be going for a run, seeing friends or gaming.
• Don't ignore the physical health - nutritious food, staying active and if you can, sleep, all play a role in how your emotional health is doing.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - sharing their experiences, the challenges, as well as the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Know that asking for help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the optimal method you can look after your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the loss, having had no contact with him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead provide the safety and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a outburst, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - processing the feelings safely.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become better, healthier men since they faced their issues, transformed how they talk, and learned to manage themselves for their children.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and dealing with things," explains Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan shares. "I said, at times I feel like my purpose is to instruct and tell you what to do, but actually, it's a exchange. I'm learning as much as you are in this journey."